we're blogging at a bar
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
