i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize