I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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