What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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