She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
