haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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