Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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