Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
