One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have tasted many bathrooms
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
