the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
