Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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