I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
