my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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