Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize