I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Vodka?
Forever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
