I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
