google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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