why didn't you poke me back
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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