How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
