Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
