idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
