they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
