This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
