Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
