thus making me awesome and them whores
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
