I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
