So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
