I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
