shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
