all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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