i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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