they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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