So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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