i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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