My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
