wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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