Fuck appropriateness.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
