Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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(347): View more from New York

in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them

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(254): View more from Texas

Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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(315): View more from New York

we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.

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(281): View more from Texas

I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????

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