Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
