After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
