Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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