So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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