The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
