Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
