Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
