Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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