Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
A+ Viking dick
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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