I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
