I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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