If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
