did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize