Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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