Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
