So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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