i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
