very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
