I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
