If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
