You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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