We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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