remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
