I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
