i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
