He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She told me I should be a condom model.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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