She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
