I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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