I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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