omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
