McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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