I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
