I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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