There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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