i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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